BUILDING A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Bernadette Amarachi Abani RN.
INTRODUCTION
Healthy relationships with your partner , friends and family members can enhance your life and make everyone feel good about themselves. They don’t just happen though; healthy relationships take time to build and need work to keep them healthy. The more positive effort you put into a relationship, the healthier it should be.
What is healthy relationship ?
A healthy relationship is a relationship that is filled with happiness, joy, and — most importantly — love.
Humans are made to relate to others in a positive and enhancing way but it is unfortunate this isn’t always the case. In fact, sometimes, we allow the wrong kind of people to enter our life, and our relationship with them isn’t positive, healthy, or edifying and mostly, it isn’t fruitful also.
What are the signs of a healthy relationship?
People in healthy relationships love and support each other. They help each other practically as well as emotionally. They are there for each other in the good times and the bad times.
Healthy relationships are commonly based on:
Respect
Trust
Open communication
Equality
Both shared and individual interests
Understanding
Honesty
Care
Emotional support
Shared values around finances, child raising and other important matters
What are the benefits of healthy relationships?
People who have healthy relationships are more likely to feel happier and satisfied with their lives.
They are less likely to have physical and mental health problems.
Healthy relationships can:
Increase your sense of worth and belonging and help you feel less alone
Give you confidence
Support you to try out new things and learn more about yourself
HOW TO DEVELOP A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP
Healthy relationships are built on healthy communication, mutual respect, and trust. In a healthy relationship both partners feel valued and respected, and have their boundaries respected. Boundaries can be physical, emotional, and sexual.
In a healthy relationship, each partner respects the other’s goals, whether they are personal, professional, or educational. It is also critical to respect each other’s need to spend time with other people or alone. The dynamics of healthy relationships can apply to intimate partners, friends, family, and co-workers.
Building healthy relationships with partners, friends and family is good for you. It improves your mood, your mental health and your wellbeing.
Maintaining them is important. It takes time and commitment. No relationship is perfect, but it is important that it brings you more happiness than stress.
There are basic ways to make relationships healthy, even though each relationship is different
Here are some tips for a healthy relationship.
These tips apply to all kinds of relationships: friendships, work and family relationships, and romantic partnerships.
KEEP EXPECTATIONS REALISTIC. No one can be everything we might want them to be. Healthy relationships mean accepting people as they are and not trying to change them.
TALK WITH EACH OTHER: communication is essential to healthy relationships.
Take the time: Really be there for your partner
Genuinely listen: Do not interrupt or plan what you are going to say next. Try to fully understand their perspective.
Ask questions. Show you are interested.
Ask about their experiences, feelings, opinions, and interests.
Share information: Studies show that sharing information helps relationships begin. Let people know who you are, but don’t overwhelm with too much personal information too soon.
BE FLEXIBLE: It is natural to feel uneasy about changes. Healthy relationships allow for change and growth.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF:
Healthy relationships are mutual, with room for both people’s needs.
BE DEPENDABLE: If you make plans with someone, follow through. If you take on a responsibility, complete it. Healthy relationships are trustworthy.
FIGHT FAIR: Most relationships have some conflict. It only means you disagree about something; it does not have to mean you don’t like each other.
Cool down before talking. The conversation will be more productive if you have it when your emotions have cooled off a little, so you don’t say something you may regret later.
Use “I statements.” Share how you feel and what you want without assigning blame or motives. E.g. “When you don’t call me, I start to feel like you don’t care about me” vs. “You never call me when you’re away. I guess I’m the only one who cares about this relationship.”
Keep your language clear and specific. Try to factually describe behavior that you are upset with, avoiding criticism and judgment. Attack the problem, not the person.
Focus on the current issue. The conversation is likely to get bogged down if you pile on everything that bothers you. Avoid using “always” and “never” language and address one issue at a time.
Take responsibility for mistakes. Apologize if you have done something wrong; it goes a long way toward setting things right again. Say sorry when you’re wrong, this is really important as it helps heal relationship breakdowns that inevitably occur
Recognize some problems are not easily solved. Not all differences or difficulties can be resolved. You are different people, and your values, beliefs, habits, and personality may not always be in alignment.
NB: Communication goes a long way toward helping you understand each other and address concerns, but some things are deeply rooted and may not change significantly. It is important to figure out for yourself what you can accept, or when a relationship is no longer healthy for you.
BE AFFIRMING: According to relationship researcher John Gottman, happy couples have a ratio of 5 positive interactions or feelings for every 1 negative interaction or feeling. Express warmth and affection!
KEEP YOUR LIFE BALANCED: Other people help make our lives satisfying but they cannot meet every need. Find what interests you and become involved. Healthy relationships have room for outside activities.
IT’S A PROCESS: It takes time to meet people and get to know them. Healthy relationships can be learned and practiced, and keep getting better.
BE YOURSELF: It’s much easier and more fun to be authentic than to pretend to be something or someone else. Healthy relationships are made of real people.
CREATE FAMILY TIME
Finding time together as a family can be difficult, but there are many benefits to regularly sharing family meals. Even one family meal a week gives everyone a chance to catch up, connect and communicate with each other.
In Conclusion,
Healthy relationships are critical to emotional connection and allow us to thrive. When someone has not had healthy relationships modeled for them, it can be difficult to have a healthy relationship.
However, it is never too late to learn to have healthy relationship. i.e it is never late for you to build and also maintain it.
Thanks
