LEARNING FROM MISTAKES AND STRUGGLES
Sr. Sandra Anikpe, LDJ
INTRODUCTION
Mistakes and struggles are different words addressing issues from different views and the understanding of one differs from the other. However, this presentation will help deepen your knowledge of what the topic is addressing. The life of a human person evolves with challenges that at times pull one to make mistakes experiences as a result; one begins to struggle out of dilemmatic situations they have found themselves. Every human person has the potential to make mistakes thus within the situation, seek a remedy to overcome such a challenge.
Do not remain where you are! Come out of it.
MEANING OF MISTAKES: It is an error committed unintentionally. We make mistakes daily, and learning from our mistakes is one thing, putting it into practice is another thing. " We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes; you are now with the power to shape your day and future". Steve Maraboli.
However, struggle means striving to labour in difficulties. Unfortunately, many of us are living with past errors; thus refuse vehemently to let go of the past pains. How possibly do you want to grow and achieve your goals with such pains? Most people find it difficult to forgive themselves, they are hurt and bittered. This has reminded me of a medical doctor who killed himself at Lagos in the river lagoon. Just imagine what the doctor went through, Who knows what was eating him up with all his achievements, yet, he ended his life, just like that.
Therefore, many are regretting why they killed their family members for money rituals, many are regretting why they aborted or sold their babies. Many are regretting why they divorced their partners, many are regretting why they quit their formal jobs or congregations. Can you forget and let go of your past pains? Assure yourself that you can do better and are made for things that are more extraordinary.
THE REASON MOST PEOPLE DO NOT LEARN FROM THEIR MISTAKES AND STRUGGLES
PRIDE: Pride is one of the most powerful vices a person can possess. It is among the seven capital sins, Fr. Mike said, “Consider pursuing this one antidote in combatting pride and to help you grow in humility”. When one always claims to be right, not allowing yourself for corrections; that's where your problem will take root. Pride has caused more harm than good in our lives. Once you make pride your best friend, peace will depart from you. You will continue to make mistakes throughout your life without learning the lessons that come with them. Humility is the only antidote to overcoming pride.
IRRESPONSIBILITY: the state of not being responsible for your actions. We are good at blaming others. We do not want to take responsibility for our failures and actions. We often fix our attention on people's faults, we refuse to see ours and work on them. We deny and blame those closer to us; instead of giving it a second thought. It is high time we start taking responsibility for our mistakes and struggles.
LACK OF SELF-EXAMINATION: Examine your conscience daily, try by all means to examine yourself at the end of the day. Examine how your day went, how you cheated on someone at the market, how you helped that old woman with loads, how you insulted the lady that came to your shop. According to (CCC No. 1778), “Conscience is a judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act that he is going to perform, is in the process of performing, or has already completed. In all he says and does, a man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right. It is by the judgment of his conscience that man perceives and recognizes the prescriptions of the divine law:
Similarly, Conscience is a law of the mind; yet [Christians] would not grant that it is nothing more; I mean that it was not a dictate, nor conveyed the notion of responsibility, of duty, of a threat and a promise. . . . [Conscience] is a messenger of him, who, both in nature and in grace, speaks to us behind a veil, and teaches and rules us by his representatives. Conscience is the aboriginal Vicar of Christ”. How you gossip and castigate your colleagues etc. Examine your mistakes and Achievements. Unfortunately, many don't examine themselves, and that's why they refuse to learn from their mistakes and struggles. Additionally, the absence of conscience is absent of good and a pivotal degradation of self-worth.
UNFORGIVENESS: People who have an unforgiven spirit can hardly learn from their mistakes and struggles. Because their hearts are made of rocks. That is the reason many are finding it difficult to forgive themselves for the mistakes they made long ago. Some decided to commit suicide. You need to free yourself from that painful experience that is weighing you down. Forgive your Aunt who maltreated you, forgive that uncle of yours who raped you at the age of eight. Forgive them all and move on with your life. Be courageous, you're made to be great. Please forgive yourself and forgive them all.
According to (CCC part V No. 2838-2840), "AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES, AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO TRESPASS AGAINST US". “This petition is astonishing. If it consisted only of the first phrase, "And forgive us our trespasses," it might have been included, implicitly, in the first three petitions of the Lord's Prayer, since Christ's sacrifice is "that sins may be forgiven." according to the second phrase, our petition will not be heard unless we have first met a strict requirement. Our petition looks to the future, but our response must come first, for the two parts are joined by the single word "as." AND FORGIVE US OUR TRESPASSES.
However, with bold confidence, we began praying to our Father. In begging him that his name be hallowed, we were asking him that we might be always made more holy. Though we are clothed with the baptismal garment, we do not cease to sin, to turn away from God. Now, in this new petition, we return to him like the prodigal son and, like the tax collector, recognize that we are sinners before him. Our petition begins with a "confession" of our wretchedness and his mercy. Our hope is firm because, in his Son, "we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins." We find the efficacious and undoubted sign of his forgiveness in the sacraments of his Church.
Now - and this is daunting - this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father's merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.
THE FOLLOWING ARE SOME LESSONS FROM MISTAKES AND STRUGGLES
Mistakes help one to be aware of him or herself, knowing when to act, and when to be mute.
Determination and focus in life.
To be resilient in all ramifications
It helps us to value what we have.
It helps one to be hardworking, humble and always ready for changes.
It helps one to be disciplined
HOW YOU CAN LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES AND STRUGGLES
At first, after making mistakes, you are to call yourself to order through the following:
SELF ACCEPTANCE: Accept who you are, love your wonderful self, tell yourself how wonderful you are, advise yourself and accept it how is. Tell yourself you are trying. Therefore, they are the areas you are to work on. Because you are lagging. After all these, see how your beautiful heart will rejoice. We do feel sad when mistakes are observed in us, just because we have not yet accepted ourselves. Accept your mistakes and learn from your struggles.
MEDITATION/REFLECTION
Meditate on the mistakes and struggles that you have made or passed through. See reasons to let go of them; and reflect on the next way to follow, instead of holding onto them and hurting your precious self and future.
3. ACKNOWLEDGEMENT / FORGIVENESS: After meditating and reflecting on your past mistakes and struggles, be kind enough to acknowledge that you have made mistakes and forgive yourself. Once you are unable to forgive yourself, the next option is to commit suicide. As Bruce Lee said, "Mistakes are always forgivable if one dares to admit it.
4. IDENTIFYING THE LESSONS: In any mistakes or struggles, try to see lessons in them and grab them immediately. Do not relax or feel sad forever, fix your broken self by learning the lessons that come with it, so that you can move like a giant with confidence. This has to do with diligence, focus and learning.
5. PUTTING LESSONS INTO PRACTICE: Identifying the lessons and putting them into practice are different things altogether. So after identifying your lessons, be ready to put them into practice. Many are still bitter and pained about their mistakes and struggles, many went through hell at the hands of people just to earn a living, and they are still bitter. I encourage you today, to look into them and learn some lessons that will help you and your generation to come.
6. ACCEPTING CORRECTIONS: Most of us are always ready to pick a fight when corrected. We are always right. Let me tell you today, nobody is above correction. Open up yourself and you will learn a lot in this journey of life. Anybody that corrects you loves you and wants the best for you. Instead of accepting with thanks, we try to put the fault or blame on another person's head. Put pride aside and accept that you are wrong, and you will not die. Learn from the correction and move on with your life.
CONCLUSION
Coming out of experiences of the past that have partly erupted your life and as barriers to your self-development, is not a question of automatic total freedom of self, it is a process of openness and being ready to accept the reality and assimilating all the remedies listed above will help you transcend beyond odds. You will receive healing of the mind, soul, and body when you can forgive those who have caused you pain and liquidized your life then you will break free from all bitterness.
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