Introduction:
There is a popular saying attributed to Epictetus, a Greek stoic philosopher, which holds that “it is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” This saying is quite apt and to a great extent, summarises the topic before us today. My dear friends, no matter how strong, educated, talented or gifted we are, we will always have one or more areas of our existence where we battle with weakness. The areas of weaknesses we experience in our daily existence, can be in various forms; ranging from physical to psychological to the spiritual. All of these are areas where we often fall short of strength and consequently, need healing. Quite unfortunately, despite the fact that these areas of weaknesses are shared by many, and indeed, all humans, we often find it difficult to rise from the dilemma that assail us, as a result of these weakness. Thus, we need healing in various aspects of our lives, in order for us to act and function rightly.
Based on these, we shall discuss briefly on how we can achieve this necessary healing much faster. This shall be discussed under three basic headings, that is, the fall and the need to rise, the challenges to rising quickly and the steps to rising/healing faster.
The Fall and the Need to Rise:
We can all identify one time or the other, when we experienced a downward slide in the flow of our life’s events, a time when it seemed like we were not good enough for the job, a time when it seemed as though it had all ended, a time when we felt like there was no way forward. This could have arisen due to several factors or occurrences in our life’s journey, either an unexpected failure in business/academics, the death of a beloved relative or friend, an accident which cost us much more than we imagined we could ever bear with, a dismissal from our work places or places of study, a sickness which has defiled all known medical interventions, the effects of insurgency, a state of rejection and lack of friends, a failed investment or relationship, an abusive relationship, a sexual abuse, just to mention but a few. Perhaps we are still going through these now or we have healed from the hurt, or maybe we cannot see ourselves in any of these yet. If we cannot see ourselves in any of these yet, we may be quite sure that soon, we would experience something similar, because these are part of life’s ugly experiences that we cannot run away from. An unfortunate aspect of these experiences is the fact that too many times, we have no control over their occurrences, or else, we would have stopped them from being our lot (I’m quite sure that if I had my way with life, I wouldn’t permit any of my loved ones to die, neither would I allow myself fail in any venture).
Due to the ugliness of these events, we naturally feel downcast and low-spirited. These often cause us to separate ourselves from people, make us feel less of ourselves and in extreme cases, lead to depression. You will agree with me that this is not a state in which one will want to remain in for long. Therefore, there is the need to rise up and overcome the effects of these occurrences as quickly as possible. Yes, we may have
little or no control over their occurrences in our lives, but we do have a high level of control over how we choose to respond to them. This is the good news!
The Challenges to Rising up Quickly
Having known that we can hardly run away from these ugly events of life, and also that we need to rise up quickly, we must pay attention to some factors which often pose as challenges to overcoming the effects of these occurrences. Among the many challenges, are:
Cultural/Traditional Impositions: These are those beliefs which we have adopted from the society we live in, both consciously and unconsciously. Too many times, we hold the belief that we must necessarily mourn our situations for a given length of time in order for us to be able to show the pain we’re going through. We seem to take solace in our pains, despite the fact that we are not comfortable with them, just because the society around us has made it seem like those situations have to be endured for such a time. This is often the case when we lose our loved ones or something we cherish (e.g our houses, cars, etc). When a child falls down for an example, and stands up immediately, choosing to despise the pain and to focus on a more positive situation, we are likely to interpret it that such a child didn’t feel any pain from the fall after all, when a man who has recently lost his wife picks himself up and, despite the pain of the loss of his wife, chooses to live his life positively, we are likely to describe him as one who never loved his wife. The society around us makes it seem like negative events must necessarily be dwelt upon for a long time, in order for us to be able to show how much the situation hurts us. This is a cultural and societal conditioning which often stops one from quickly healing from an ugly event.
Self-imposed limitations: Apart from the conditioning which the society gives us, too often, we condition our own selves by limiting our abilities. We are so afraid that we refuse to make any efforts. This leads us to remain in our conditions of grief and pity. A student who writes an exam twice or thrice and fails, immediately concludes that he cannot make it. A business man who has lost some money due to unforeseen circumstances decides he is not fit to be a business man and he abandons his business. We have seen some amputees who do great and unimaginable things, and also persons under the same condition who chose to do nothing else, except to beg for alms, because of the same condition. As much as we must not forget to know our limits, we must also realize that we are capable of more than we have been able to achieve.
Refusal to let go: We sometimes find it difficult to heal quickly, because we refuse to let go of what and who hurt us. We often hide under the shadow of “it is very difficult” or “I am trying my best”, while we have refused to change our focus. Letting go necessarily requires that we change our focus. We cannot continue to look upon the pain and hurt in our minds, yet expect to let go of it in our bodies. Letting go demands not just our outward expressions, but also our inner dispositions. Let go and renew your mind.
No biographies: Do you have a guide? Have you taken time to learn about other people who experienced same challenges and were able to overcome them? One of our challenges is the fact that many people are not willing to learn from others. We are not ready to see ourselves through the experiences of others and this slows down our own healing process. We would do ourselves a great deal of good, if we embrace the study of how people have been able to scale through their times of challenges.
Steps to Rising and Healing Faster.
With the challenges already mentioned, we can begin to see how we can learn to heal faster. We must acknowledge the fact that we are powerful beyond measure, just as Marianne Williamson puts it, and therefore utilise our inborn strength to help us heal from the downward slides of life and rise up again to the heights. We shall adopt three steps to help us in learning to heal faster- the physical, the psychological and the spiritual.
The physical: Man is a being with a physical reality, therefore to aid our fast healing, we must adopt the technique of change in physical position. This could. mean a change in geographical location, a change in dressing or eating pattern, even a change in friendship (at least momentarily). Some challenges require daily physical exercise, if we must subdue them. There are certain places, persons and things which will always keep us in a state of the downward slide, until we decide to apply our inborn strength and conviction and change ourselves in relation to them. It might even require us to be attached to particular persons or to do certain things. A key to success is to create patterns of movement that create confidence, a sense of strength, flexibility, a sense of personal power, and fun.
The psychological: The mind is one of the most powerful tools a person possesses. Thus, redirecting our focus and changing our mental/emotional and physiological states is essential in achieving a fast healing from hurts and pains. The object of our focus (to a great extent) determines the direction of our lives, because we will most certainly work towards that which we focus on. A person who wants to become a medical doctor sets that as a focus and consequently, he/she works towards achieving it. To heal from your hurt, you must take your gaze from that which hurts and focus on what heals and brings about happiness. A smile is essential, laughter is a necessity. These make way for a positive attitude and disposition. As Anthony Robbins says, “You can be gifted with courage and determination, grace and flair, strength and endurance, compassion and intellect, but if you continually submerge yourself in negative states, focusing on the distasteful, you’ll hardly ever fulfill that promise of excellence.” Have the willpower to do and to become.
The spiritual: The spiritual dimension is so important in our lives, even though some may deny it, to their own detriment. God Almighty, is the master architect who holds the blueprint of our lives. Therefore, only him can give that which is
beyond our power. Despite how powerful the mind is, there are certain heights we cannot reach by ourselves, there are certain challenges we will not heal perfectly from, except we turn to the Divine Master. As Anthony Robbins says, “willpower by itself is not enough—not if we want to achieve lasting change.” Phil 2:13 reminds us that it is God who acts in us, both to will and to do, according to his good pleasure. The place of prayers and other spiritual exercises cannot be downplayed if we must rise perfectly from the downward slide.
Conclusion
In life, we will have challenging moments, but these are only meant to help us grow and not to break us down. We must consciously choose to rise by these challenges, rather than let the challenges ride over us. We are powerful beyond measure, both on the physical level, on the psychological level and most especially, on the spiritual level. Let us leverage our inborn strength and be courageous enough to go beyond the limitations our society places on us and let us let go of the limitations we place on our abilities. I’ll end with the words of 2 Peter 1:3 “By his divine power, he has lavished on us all the things we need for life and for true devotion, through the knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness.”
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