PERSONS ARE GIFT By: Sister Immaculate Aformachukwu Ikeotuonye

INTRODUCTION



Humanity and it's vast  beauty of human existence, the supreme Love and wisdom of the creator, the fulfillment of the word "let us make man in our own image and likeness" . Divine goodness of God and a precious gift of his own self. A separate gift different from all that was made or will be made, a dignified entity and the creator's Love.


What more could be compared with the person next to you?

In the beginning God made man and gave him a gift of Eve as his companion, and under God's command he obligated man to go into the world and multiple, an instruction meant to benefit man and his inhabitants. Today the human existence has not only become a beautiful structure but has equally become a vulnerable[powerful] gift to each human person ever existed or will exist.


The human person signifies the love of the creator, his Divine image, His sublime likeness, the signature of His physical appearance to man, when man fails to understand what he was made for, to portray the beautiful image and likeness of God in through his Creation. 


A divine charity [Love] greater than what any mortal can imagine. Oh, but at once this gift of persons has become a taunt on many. A prey against itself and against all around it, as in the story of Cane and Abel, who violently, out of hate and jealousy killed his beloved brother Abel. He destroyed the most precious gift of Life and the gift of his brother Abel. A story which in the later days will become a norm and slowly a culture.


This gift of persons or person to person has already been defiled and still will be defiled  by many, who out of the vices of hatred, pride, anger, gluttony, greed, lust, envy and sloth, murder or will  disassociate themselves from others. No wonder the values of every human person can easily be exchanged for a peanut, imagine Judas Iscariot betraying Jesus the greatest gift to humanity for just a 30 shekels, not even good enough for a slave. No wonder this precious gift of persons can easily be replaced by resources and wants, for wealth, prosperities and pleasures because the great substance of this gift has long been destroyed.


No more Love which first is wrapped around this gifts, and which gives even more greater value than the gift itself.


You can't do without me...


Without digging into the words of scholars, it is clear enough that we're both created for ourselves. Every gift has a unique purpose and design as could be attributed to the human person. In other words for every person we meet or commune with has within him/her a unique likeness of God and yourself.


As much as the gift of persons has greatly been emphasized on, let us also remember that some gifts are soft, hard, delicate, easily accessible and of course some are difficult to access. You as a person and gift to others can not compare or be compared with the other[s]. And therefore, the awareness of each gift of persons brought to us either by accident or intentional should by all means be carefully handled.


We understand clearly the strength and weakness of this gifts, what they are made of and the substance they uphold, we must first cherish to the brim the gift of one's self since it was said, "CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME "


Imagine that no one apart from you is existing, imagine that no one is there as a companion/friend... Imagine the vastness of the world without anything of your resemblance, imagine that you existed amongst other creatures; trees, birds and other created being without a lookalike. Appreciate closely every human person around you, both  the good and the ones we consider as bad. What experience as a person gives you the privilege or benefit to cherish the gift or gifts of other persons as a gift. Have you desperately need a help or attention from someone, a relative or a friend and even an outsider whom you've never met before. This is a gift from a gift to a gift


We must recognize this gifts in moments of desolation, of depression, in good times and in bad times ...We’ve met interesting people in our lives and we're just grateful for the opportunity to have encountered them. There are some of us who have remained faithful despite the distance and the absence of visibility and has kept the friendship open, but others would simply disappear without leaving a word or trace. Friends make us happy or sad, they put smile to our faces, frowns and wrinkle lines as well when they start to be nasty once in a while. Generally, however, they are gifts to us by God.



Anthropological Optimism by Emmanuel Odeh, O.P

INTRODUCTION

In the face of the various national/international crises, wars, instability, and uneasiness, what definition would best suit human beings other than “well-dressed beasts”? This description sounds very dehumanizing, but realistically speaking, it is nothing compared to the massacre of both the innocent and the guilty within the last 200 years. It will be heartbreaking to stretch the date to the last 2,000 years. An important question that we are faced with is; what is the intrinsic nature of human beings? Or we should probably be asking; is MAN ontologically good or evil? An answer to these questions is what we shall address in this discourse. To carefully achieve our aim, we shall address the questions from a philosophical and theological point of view.

Basic Concepts

Anthropology: From two Greek words (Anthropos = Man) and (Logy= Study,) both resulting to The Study of Man.

Optimism: From the Latin word Optimum which means Best. Optimism is a general disposition to expect the best in all things.

The Concept of anthropological Optimism.

As mentioned in the introduction, we shall address this topic in three lights, namely; in the philosophical, psychological, and religious sense.

Philosophical approach: It is quite necessary to trace the history of our discussion in the circular sense to its origin because that will help us to understand how importance of the topic. 

Although some ancient philosophers had mentioned it in passing, however, the first philosophical argument stating that man is intrinsically good by nature is traced to a Chinese philosopher who lived around 371-289 BC, by the name Mencius. Mencius simply found his theory of man’s intrinsic goodness on the belief that every human being is born with four inherent predispositions, namely; compassion, righteousness, propriety, and wisdom. Mencius however mentioned that the nature/nurture relationship is very important to maintain these intrinsic values.

Subsequent authors, the likes of Rousseau and Kant also argued that Man is naturally good, and each emphasized the role of society and individual effort in sustaining this intrinsic nature of humans. 

The question we might ask is; are these philosophical arguments sufficient to prove that Man is naturally good? The answer is NO. This is so because many other philosophical theories with convincing arguments have been proposed to say Man is naturally selfish, bad, or at least neither good nor bad at birth. On these grounds, we shall recourse to a higher authority that cannot be faulted. This authority is both a historical figure and a divine being, the God-Man Jesus Christ.

It is first and foremost important to state this fact, that the Notion of Anthropological optimism has existed from the time the book of Genesis was documented. The book of Genesis is not the oldest biblical book, but is it the most authoritative in matters of the beginnings, and in fact offers the strongest backup for anthropological optimism.



The statement; “Let us make man in our own image, in the likeness of ourselves...” (Genesis 1:26) contained in Genesis 1:26, brings our topic into the sphere of theology. Aquinas would state in his Summa Theologea that God participates in all his creatures by virtue of the fact that they are products of his wisdom. But when discussing the human being he highlights two folds of man’s participation in God. The first is in the order of creator vs creature, but the higher participation is in God’s immortality shared with man, which is present in Man’s soul, endowed with the capacity of knowing and loving God. In other words, the passage that Jesus Christ quoted in John 10: 34 that says “Is it not written in your law that you are gods?”, was not figurative but a fact that he sets before us. If it wasn’t so, Jesus would not have commanded us to be perfect, just as our heavenly father is perfect. (Matthew 5:48). Perfection is practically an attribute proper to God, and if God himself commands us to be perfect, it is because he knows without doubt that our forms as human beings are capable of attaining the height of all good (perfection).

What Jesus calls us to in the injunction to perfection is to our original form. Genesis 1:31 says when God saw all he had made, he saw that it was very good. Note that the expression “Very Good” was only used once in the creation narrative, and that was after God made man. We can as well say, humanity is the crown of everything good in our world. Little wonder, when man fell to sin, the world lost its perfection and needed a redeemer to rescue it. But precisely that is where the question lies, can we say we are born good even with the presence of original sin? The answer is Yes because, with original sin, man is wounded, by which we mean that the human will is weakened but not destroyed. Our restoration to the initial plan comes at baptism.

The fact is that from the time of the fall of Adam till now, man has willfully drifted from the original plan. Yes, even after Jesus’ death which has bought us redemption and access to what we were before the fall, at different degrees we still fall away from the grace that Paul records to be sufficient for us. This is not to bring about despair or discouragement, but it is to ignite in us that awareness that results in the conscious effort toward goodness and ultimately perfection. The conscious effort here spoken about is that practical, in the most realistic sense, effort to face our weaknesses and prayerfully fight them. Also, it is that attitude of avoiding occasions that will lead to sin. It also necessarily implies a close relationship with the maker, who purifies us whenever we avail ourselves 

for cleansing.

LEARNING TO HEAL FASTER by Friar Fabian Dania, O.P

Introduction:

There is a popular saying attributed to Epictetus, a Greek stoic philosopher, which holds that “it is not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.” This saying is quite apt and to a great extent, summarises the topic before us today. My dear friends, no matter how strong, educated, talented or gifted we are, we will always have one or more areas of our existence where we battle with weakness. The areas of weaknesses we experience in our daily existence, can be in various forms; ranging from physical to psychological to the spiritual. All of these are areas where we often fall short of strength and consequently, need healing. Quite unfortunately, despite the fact that these areas of weaknesses are shared by many, and indeed, all humans, we often find it difficult to rise from the dilemma that assail us, as a result of these weakness. Thus, we need healing in various aspects of our lives, in order for us to act and function rightly.

Based on these, we shall discuss briefly on how we can achieve this necessary healing much faster. This shall be discussed under three basic headings, that is, the fall and the need to rise, the challenges to rising quickly and the steps to rising/healing faster.

The Fall and the Need to Rise:

We can all identify one time or the other, when we experienced a downward slide in the flow of our life’s events, a time when it seemed like we were not good enough for the job, a time when it seemed as though it had all ended, a time when we felt like there was no way forward. This could have arisen due to several factors or occurrences in our life’s journey, either an unexpected failure in business/academics, the death of a beloved relative or friend, an accident which cost us much more than we imagined we could ever bear with, a dismissal from our work places or places of study, a sickness which has defiled all known medical interventions, the effects of insurgency, a state of rejection and lack of friends, a failed investment or relationship, an abusive relationship, a sexual abuse, just to mention but a few. Perhaps we are still going through these now or we have healed from the hurt, or maybe we cannot see ourselves in any of these yet. If we cannot see ourselves in any of these yet, we may be quite sure that soon, we would experience something similar, because these are part of life’s ugly experiences that we cannot run away from. An unfortunate aspect of these experiences is the fact that too many times, we have no control over their occurrences, or else, we would have stopped them from being our lot (I’m quite sure that if I had my way with life, I wouldn’t permit any of my loved ones to die, neither would I allow myself fail in any venture).

Due to the ugliness of these events, we naturally feel downcast and low-spirited. These often cause us to separate ourselves from people, make us feel less of ourselves and in extreme cases, lead to depression. You will agree with me that this is not a state in which one will want to remain in for long. Therefore, there is the need to rise up and overcome the effects of these occurrences as quickly as possible. Yes, we may have


little or no control over their occurrences in our lives, but we do have a high level of control over how we choose to respond to them. This is the good news!



The Challenges to Rising up Quickly

Having known that we can hardly run away from these ugly events of life, and also that we need to rise up quickly, we must pay attention to some factors which often pose as challenges to overcoming the effects of these occurrences. Among the many challenges, are:

Cultural/Traditional Impositions: These are those beliefs which we have adopted from the society we live in, both consciously and unconsciously. Too many times, we hold the belief that we must necessarily mourn our situations for a given length of time in order for us to be able to show the pain we’re going through. We seem to take solace in our pains, despite the fact that we are not comfortable with them, just because the society around us has made it seem like those situations have to be endured for such a time. This is often the case when we lose our loved ones or something we cherish (e.g our houses, cars, etc). When a child falls down for an example, and stands up immediately, choosing to despise the pain and to focus on a more positive situation, we are likely to interpret it that such a child didn’t feel any pain from the fall after all, when a man who has recently lost his wife picks himself up and, despite the pain of the loss of his wife, chooses to live his life positively, we are likely to describe him as one who never loved his wife. The society around us makes it seem like negative events must necessarily be dwelt upon for a long time, in order for us to be able to show how much the situation hurts us. This is a cultural and societal conditioning which often stops one from quickly healing from an ugly event.

Self-imposed limitations: Apart from the conditioning which the society gives us, too often, we condition our own selves by limiting our abilities. We are so afraid that we refuse to make any efforts. This leads us to remain in our conditions of grief and pity. A student who writes an exam twice or thrice and fails, immediately concludes that he cannot make it. A business man who has lost some money due to unforeseen circumstances decides he is not fit to be a business man and he abandons his business. We have seen some amputees who do great and unimaginable things, and also persons under the same condition who chose to do nothing else, except to beg for alms, because of the same condition. As much as we must not forget to know our limits, we must also realize that we are capable of more than we have been able to achieve.

Refusal to let go: We sometimes find it difficult to heal quickly, because we refuse to let go of what and who hurt us. We often hide under the shadow of “it is very difficult” or “I am trying my best”, while we have refused to change our focus. Letting go necessarily requires that we change our focus. We cannot continue to look upon the pain and hurt in our minds, yet expect to let go of it in our bodies. Letting go demands not just our outward expressions, but also our inner dispositions. Let go and renew your mind.


No biographies: Do you have a guide? Have you taken time to learn about other people who experienced same challenges and were able to overcome them? One of our challenges is the fact that many people are not willing to learn from others. We are not ready to see ourselves through the experiences of others and this slows down our own healing process. We would do ourselves a great deal of good, if we embrace the study of how people have been able to scale through their times of challenges.

Steps to Rising and Healing Faster.

With the challenges already mentioned, we can begin to see how we can learn to heal faster. We must acknowledge the fact that we are powerful beyond measure, just as Marianne Williamson puts it, and therefore utilise our inborn strength to help us heal from the downward slides of life and rise up again to the heights. We shall adopt three steps to help us in learning to heal faster- the physical, the psychological and the spiritual.

The physical: Man is a being with a physical reality, therefore to aid our fast healing, we must adopt the technique of change in physical position. This could. mean a change in geographical location, a change in dressing or eating pattern, even a change in friendship (at least momentarily). Some challenges require daily physical exercise, if we must subdue them. There are certain places, persons and things which will always keep us in a state of the downward slide, until we decide to apply our inborn strength and conviction and change ourselves in relation to them. It might even require us to be attached to particular persons or to do certain things. A key to success is to create patterns of movement that create confidence, a sense of strength, flexibility, a sense of personal power, and fun.

The psychological: The mind is one of the most powerful tools a person possesses. Thus, redirecting our focus and changing our mental/emotional and physiological states is essential in achieving a fast healing from hurts and pains. The object of our focus (to a great extent) determines the direction of our lives, because we will most certainly work towards that which we focus on. A person who wants to become a medical doctor sets that as a focus and consequently, he/she works towards achieving it. To heal from your hurt, you must take your gaze from that which hurts and focus on what heals and brings about happiness. A smile is essential, laughter is a necessity. These make way for a positive attitude and disposition. As Anthony Robbins says, “You can be gifted with courage and determination, grace and flair, strength and endurance, compassion and intellect, but if you continually submerge yourself in negative states, focusing on the distasteful, you’ll hardly ever fulfill that promise of excellence.” Have the willpower to do and to become.

The spiritual: The spiritual dimension is so important in our lives, even though some may deny it, to their own detriment. God Almighty, is the master architect who holds the blueprint of our lives. Therefore, only him can give that which is

beyond our power. Despite how powerful the mind is, there are certain heights we cannot reach by ourselves, there are certain challenges we will not heal perfectly from, except we turn to the Divine Master. As Anthony Robbins says, “willpower by itself is not enough—not if we want to achieve lasting change.” Phil 2:13 reminds us that it is God who acts in us, both to will and to do, according to his good pleasure. The place of prayers and other spiritual exercises cannot be downplayed if we must rise perfectly from the downward slide.

Conclusion

In life, we will have challenging moments, but these are only meant to help us grow and not to break us down. We must consciously choose to rise by these challenges, rather than let the challenges ride over us. We are powerful beyond measure, both on the physical level, on the psychological level and most especially, on the spiritual level. Let us leverage our inborn strength and be courageous enough to go beyond the limitations our society places on us and let us let go of the limitations we place on our abilities. I’ll end with the words of 2 Peter 1:3 “By his divine power, he has lavished on us all the things we need for life and for true devotion, through the knowledge of him who has called us by his own glory and goodness.”


Go Green | Living with a Green Heart by Friar Paul Abuato, OFM Cap

  


The expression living with a green heart as notably used by Gay Brown in his master piece on healthy living connotes living healthy and happy! Generally, humans seek and desire good health and happy living in society but how to go about it varies from person to person. Living with a green heart is simply utilizing what ‘Mother Nature’ offer us maximally for self care and care of/for the environment in which we live. In other words, It has to do with giving respect to one’s own body system for effective functioning. It has to do with living in harmony with the planet ensuring that proper care and attention is giving as suppose. On the other hand, it has to do with rejecting willingly and strongly the urge to consume toxics and certain chemical substances in what we consume as food.

Our discussion will focus on the need to encouraging a return to nature or going back to valuing, cherishing and consuming natural foods and drinks which are of manifold benefits to humans in the contemporary world. 


The Devastating Situation    

In this contemporary time, it has been observed that varied forms and shapes of diseases looms large. Cancer, diabetes, cardio-vascular attacks, high cholesterol, asthma among others are known debilitating diseases. The technologically advancement notably brought about improve mode of living. Nevertheless, it has been observed to be have been predisposing some persons to early or premature death. For instance, pollution is on the increase as carbon dioxide, carbon dioxide and sulfur dioxide is ubiquitous due to hyper chemical activities. It is on record that about eight thousand to twelve thousand deaths in Europe is caused by pollution. In the same way, humans are more expose now to stress and its concomitant these times than in the recent past. Also, the number of patience with asthma and allergies has tripled over the years. How about the climate change condition that is directly linked to the depletion of ozone layer? 

Basically, the aforementioned situation above cannot be unconnected with the life styles of abandoning ways of living naturally which has to do with breathing clean and fresh air, drinking purest water, eating natural/green/fresh foods: vegetables and fruits, living in natural habitants or environment proximate to vegetations. Hence, the consequences of not living in this favourable ways is staring us in the face.

The Way Forward

To forestall or arrest these anomalies as the case may be there must have to be a change of attitude or life style that supports going back to nature. It requires taking the bold steps of making healthful choices for ourselves and sticking to the healthy choices for vitality and purposeful living. The following are some of the steps required to bring about a personal health revolution in our lives:

Consuming fresh foods and fruits: it include taking of plant based protein, taking of nuts and seeds 

Drinking clean water 

Breathing of fresh (natural) air

Using environmentally friendly product on one skin and in cleaning the home

It involves spending time away from devices among others.

Attention will be given only to the first items from our list aforementioned. 

Consuming fresh foods and fruits

There is need to state categorically that there is difference between consuming food and taking junks. Often times people refer to junk as food. This is very incorrect! Consuming fresh food necessary requires that we eat plants based diet, plant based protein and fat and take in nuts and seeds for the healthy functioning of our hearts and the entire body system. 

 It is important to note that some huge chemicals sometimes term preservatives, especially pesticides that are poured into most of the food items sold in the markets. For example, some quantity of chemical we refer to as ‘colour’ is poured into palm oil usually produced sold by companies and industries. It is said that such is allowed or permitted by agencies supervising food production and consumption like in Nigeria we have NAFDAC. It is to this end that buying of food stuffs from local markets may be said to be more natural than those produced or refined in industries and factories as the case may be. Notwithstanding, not all food products coming from food factories are chemically laden or not natural. 

 Emphatically, many of our local meals are laden with numerous health benefits and nutritional values. The ewedu and amala consume mostly by the Yorubas, the fiofio, onogbo soup (bitter leaf soup) in Igbo land, the afang, edikekong (vegetables) soup consume more by the Ibibio/Efik or the local rice planted in the country like Abakiliki people are ‘real’food. The Abakaliki locally produced rice is so rich that the even the taste is good in comparison to the foreign one and the nutritional value is higher as against the ‘foreign’ (parboil) rice. It is said that virtually all foreign rice have their natural oil extracted from them. It is no exaggeration saying that most foreign rice imported into the country is chaff. This is so because there nutritional value has been drastically reduced or completed extracted as the case may be. 

 In addition, it is also of premium importance to state that the mode of cooking, storing and preserving cooked food that favours healthy means of caring for our bodies. Preserving hot foods in synthetic containers or using nylon, plastics, and rubbers is hazardous to a person health. This day’s most okpa sellers prefer preparing this highly nutritious meal with nylon rather than only leaves. Majority of those who tie their okpa in leaves often place it in nylon first. This should not be so; many may have been predisposed to cancer via this means. 

Conclusion

 So far we have noted that it is a good thing to experience advancement and progress in life generally nevertheless qualitative advancement does not reject or jettison living with a green heart. It should not in any way discredit healthy living and good healthy life style; making right choices in living hale and hearty is key. Thus, consciously and persistently living with a green heart truly requires embracing natural foods and rejecting toxics into our system or environment.

 Scripted by Friar Paul Abuato, OFM Cap  

INNER HEALING (Healing our Brokenness, the Wounds Within)By Fr. Paschal Anionye, Chaplain.

NTRODUCTION

Inner healing is a vital process that seeks the restoration of well-being in all aspects of a person's life: physical, mental, and emotional. The World Health Organization (WHO) and reputable health agencies like the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) and the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) in the United States recognize the importance of addressing mental health comprehensively, which includes acknowledging the role of emotional and psychological well-being, often referred to as inner healing. As James S. Larson would say: The World Health Organization's (WHO) definition of health as "a state of complete physical, mental and social well-being" now is conventional wisdom. Health is no longer defined simply in physical terms, as the absence of disease or disability, but now includes mental and social dimensions. I would like to explore first in this exposition how the search for inner healing and the interconnection between body, mind and emotions in this process originated. We will present a concrete case, examine the essential guide for practitioners in this field, and discuss why inner healing is so essential in today's world. Additionally, we will explore Trauma and how the Church, Spirituality, the Christian Faith tries to provide solutions in this context.

The Origin of the Search for Inner Healing

The notion of inner healing has deep roots in human history. From the spiritual practices of ancient civilizations to modern therapies, humans have sought to alleviate emotional and spiritual suffering. Ancient Greek, Egyptian, and Hindu philosophies promoted introspection and self-reflection as means to inner healing. Over time, these ideas evolved and became integrated into many religions and spiritual traditions. However, in recent decades, a more scientific approach has emerged that explores how emotions, and the mind can physically affect the body. Psychology, neuroscience, and integrative medicine have contributed to the development of this approach, showing that emotions and thoughts can play a role in medical conditions such as chronic stress or autoimmune diseases.



The Connection between the Body, Mind and Emotions

The relationship between the body, mind and emotions is fundamental in inner healing. We cannot consider these aspects separately, as they are intricately connected. For example, chronic emotional stress can manifest in physical problems, such as heart disease or gastrointestinal disorders. Likewise, a prolonged physical illness can have a significant impact on a person's mental and emotional health. We’ll talk more about that later. Inner healing is based on the understanding that the body, mind and emotions are deeply interconnected. When a patient experiences physical pain or illness, it is crucial to explore not only the physical symptoms, but also the underlying emotional and psychological causes. This connection means that simply taking pills to treat physical symptoms is not always enough, as the roots of the problem may persist. You cannot medicate depression, fear or guilt! 

A holistic approach to inner healing seeks to address these interconnected aspects to achieve lasting results. This means recognizing that there is no "magic pill" that can solve all problems, but that comprehensive care is needed.

The Case Amy and her Journey towards Inner Healing

Amy, a 37-year-old woman, suffered a serious car accident that left her with physical disabilities and deep emotional scars. Despite surgery and physical therapy, she continued to experience physical and emotional pain. She began seeking help and embarked on a journey of inner healing. During her healing process, Amy participated in talk therapy to address emotional trauma and learn strategies to deal with her physical pain. She also embarked on a comprehensive wellness program that included physical exercises, relaxation techniques and meditation. She also joined a church group where she was led into the Word of God and participated in their spiritual and prayer sessions as well as their social /community functions. As her mind and her body healed, Amy experienced a significant improvement in her quality of life.

Professional Guide to Helping Patient’s heal

By Professionals here I mean Clinically trained Chaplains and Counsellors, Mental Health Professionals, Clinical Psychologists and Psychiatrist. An inner healing technician must be well trained and sensitive to the unique needs of each patient. The essential guide involves:

Comprehensive Evaluation: Understand the patient's medical, emotional, and spiritual history to determine a personalized treatment plan.

Holistic Approach: Recognize the interconnection between the body, mind and emotions and address them in a balanced way.

Complementary Therapies: Use a variety of therapeutic approaches, such as talk therapy, physical therapy, Motivational theory/Therapy and wellness practices, as needed.

Education and Empowerment: Empower patients to actively participate in their healing process and make informed decisions about their health.

Ongoing Follow-Up: Maintain open communication and follow-up with the patient to evaluate progress and make adjustments as necessary.


Why Inner Healing is Necessary in Today's World

In a world characterized by stress, anxiety and disconnection, inner healing has become essential. Many face trauma, chronic illness, broken relationships, loss of loved ones, loss or lack of gainful employment, abuses and other emotional challenges that require comprehensive care. These emotional challenges might not be seen physically but they are also felt. Inner healing offers a path to complete recovery and quality of life. Thus, it offers a comprehensive approach to addressing these issues. It addresses the underlying causes of disease and promotes greater emotional and physical well-being.

Mental health disorders are prevalent worldwide, affecting millions of individuals. The exact number of people with mental health challenges can vary by region and time, but it's a significant global health concern. According to the American Psychological Association, made up of over 146,000 members as well as the American Academy of Paediatrics, 1 in every 5 adults and 1 in every 4 children in the United States have mental health issues. Events like the COVID-19 pandemic have exacerbated mental health challenges due to increased stress, anxiety, and isolation. Addressing mental health in children and adolescents is crucial, as early intervention can prevent long-term issues. High rates of suicide are a tragic consequence of untreated mental health conditions. Suicide is currently the 2nd highest cause of death in people between ages 10-35 in the United States. Mental health disparities exist, with marginalized and vulnerable populations often experiencing higher rates of mental health challenges and less access to care. Improving crisis response through inner healing and emergency mental health services is essential to support individuals in immediate distress.

TRAUMA and its Long Term or Lasting Effects on the Individual

First off, I would like to define trauma and then the difference between using it as a badge or as a living wound which a lot of people do versus what is really trauma addressing it and not just sweeping it under the rug. It is possible to identify with your trauma and make that into your personality, make that into your identification, which means that you're stuck in something that happened in the past and you can't move beyond it. With this view trauma can get a bad rap. On the other hand, in our contemporary culture, we're not looking at trauma nearly enough and its ramifications. So, what is trauma? This is to the point that there is Scientific research that isn’t even vaguely controversial but shows the relation between trauma and physical and mental illness to the point that a British psychologist, member of the British Academy, Richard Bentel, said that the evidence, for example linking childhood adversity to trauma and to adult mental health conditions is as clear as the evidence linking cigarette smoking to lung cancer. Unfortunately, it is a scientific fact that the average medical student never hears a single lecture on trauma, which is almost unbelievable, but they don't. That means they don't know what they're looking at most times except mere conjectures in their brief course in psychiatry while in medical college. 

So, what is trauma? Trauma literally comes from the Greek word for wound or wounding. Trauma is a psychological wound. Trauma is not what happens to you. It is what happens inside you. It is not the hit that you get. It is the concussion. Trauma is the wound that happens inside you. For an example a renowned Trauma expert and medical Doctor, Gabor Mate talks in one of his books about how when he was 11 months of age he was given to a complete stranger in the streets of Budapest by his mother and he didn't see her for six weeks. The trauma, he said, “is not that I was given to a stranger, she did that to save my life as a Jew with Jews living under the Nazis. That was the only way she could keep me alive.” But the trauma is the wound or scar which he made it to mean in himself which was the only thing that an infant can make it mean, that I'm not lovable and I'm being abandoned and rejected. Now that could have been an adaptive method of dealing with it then, but it could show up 70 years later when something touches it. This is called a trigger or enactment. 

The characteristics of a wound basically are twofold one is when you are very sensitive when something touches or reminds you of that wound. This is when you are triggered by the action, words or attitude of another. Mind you, being triggered isn’t a bad thing. It is what or how you manage the trigger. Being triggered is a good thing because it means you get to examine yourself and what is happening inside. Usually, the trigger in a gun or explosive is only a very small part of the mechanism. For the trigger to do its work there has to be explosive material inside you. Every time you get triggered you get an opportunity to examine what explosive charge is inside of you. It shows that you are still carrying the wounds from childhood that has just been triggered. The other aspect of a wound is that it scars over and scar tissue is protective, it's not live. It doesn't have growth capacity. People who are traumatized get stuck at certain levels of emotional development. Scar tissue has no nerve endings in it hence you don’t feel anything underneath the scar. This means that to the extent people are traumatized that is how disconnected they are from their bodies. They are disconnected from their feelings, which is not a bad thing. 

For example, a child who is being abused can't run away. The healthy response is to fight back or to run away. But because the child can't run away the protective response is to disconnect from yourself. This drama, in a sense, represents the organisms automatic defense mechanism. But then there’s a price to pay for that disconnection. That disconnection from that feeling the child is escaping from creates all kinds of problems later on in life, mental and physical illness. When the pain gets too much and you can't bear it, you have no way of dealing with it as a child, the next thing is to get into addictions to dull the torture of the pain. Being disconnected from your feelings is the biggest impact of trauma, which means that now you're no longer leading an authentic life. And sadly, so few are committed to being authentic. This is the challenge. How many of you have had the experience of having a strong gut feeling about something but ignored it and then being sorry afterwards that you ignored your gut feeling?

I believe that most of you have felt such. This is the story of your childhood because you've never met a one-day old baby that was disconnected from the good feelings they have. What disconnects us from a good feelings is the traumatic experience. Now, I define, or at least I describe trauma as having two major categories. There is the big T trauma and the small T trauma. The big T trauma is when terrible things happen to a child such as sexual abuse, separation from a mother as an infant, poverty, racism, emotional abuse or neglect, parent dying, the pain of being addicted or the pain of being mentally ill, or a rancorous divorce that the child has to live through, violence in the family, mentally ill parent, etc. These are the big T trauma even that leave a deep psychological wound that affects our later behavior which are often maladaptive and cause stress affecting the nervous system. There’s another way you can hurt people. This is by doing bad things to them or by not meeting their needs. 

Human children have evolved with specific needs. They're not just a blank slate on which you can write anything you want. They have certain emotional needs. As adults we have certain emotional needs for the healthy development of the human child, certain conditions have to be met to enable the child to develop healthily. For example, an attachment relationship with the parents. A child needs to feel absolutely secure, absolutely safe, which means that the child shouldn't have to work to make their relationship work. They shouldn't have to be pretty compliant, smart or any of that stuff. They just have to exist. That's the need of the child. Children have to be given the freedom to experience all their emotions. Their and our brains are wired for emotions. Our emotional brain develops long before our intellectual brain which is the end of the individual development of the human infant. The emotional brain develops before the intellectual brain. The emotional brain is the scaffolding for the intellectual brain. When the scaffolding is good the intellect will serve the proper purposes. When the scaffolding is not good the intellect can go rogue and be very brilliant and create a lot of evil. 

One of the essential needs of children is to be able to experience all their emotions which we share with all other mammals by the way, which include caring or love, fear, panic, grief, playfulness, curiosity, rage, anger. Most parenting advise moms and dads get is that there are acceptable emotions and unacceptable emotions. That certain feelings or emotions must not be encouraged in a child or should be shamed or rebuked for feeling so. They should be discouraged and even punished when they express such feelings. Unfortunately, when you do that, you are forcing the child to make a terrible decision. If my feeling cannot be accepted, I won't have the attachment relationship. I will lose the attention and love of my parents. On the other hand, to have the attachment relationship I have to suppress aspects of myself. This is where most learned to fuse with others in their family of origin and have no mind of their own, or they become distant and never talk or care about members of their family. It is natural to feel safe or want to feel safe in your family of origin, to feel belonging. Being isolated is no good. It becomes a lifelong struggle to get back to who we actually are. 

John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth in 1991 formulated the Attachment theory. When children have a healthy childhood attachment to parents or older siblings, or care givers they will likely develop a healthy self-worth and self-confidence. The opposite is true when there is neglect, lack of attention, etc. This is the cause of all the negative and antisocial activities and behaviors we see in society, why relationships hurt or don’t work. This is why there is rape, armed robbery, looting, killings, war, terrible marriages, etc. Family Systems Theory addresses this aspect of attachment. According to Murray Bowen, family systems theory is a theory of human behavior that defines the family unit as a complex social system in which members interact to influence each other’s behavior. Family members interconnect, making it appropriate to view the system as a whole rather than as individual elements. Where there was acceptance of differences and individuation, you’ll see harmony and love in the children and in their later adult life you’ll see the warm bond they share. But where you weren’t allowed to own your feelings or have a voice or you felt neglected and never given attention then you see human beings at their vicious worst in adulthood, a certain cold cordiality or indifference that shows no emotional attachments nor concern for each other. The only time they ask after each other or participate in a common activity is maybe when the parents die. Buit even then you’ll notice that they have no unity in the family. This is called dysfunctionality. It all begins from childhood with so many abuses and deprivations. Each child struggles to survive on their own and so might choose to not care later for their siblings that are suffering even when they are living in affluence. This is so very common in Nigeria and other African countries as well as in Europe and America.   

In conclusion then trauma is this wound that you sustained either because terrible things happened that shouldn't have happened to you. And it happens to a lot of kids, or because the good things that should have happened did not happen because their parents didn't love them or they didn't do their best, and because we live in a culture that makes it so difficult to be a good parent. We are preoccupied with work or too busy, unprepared and unavailable for the work of parenting.

So how do we treat it? This is the work of inner or holistic healing.

We're so much as a society in the infancy stages of even beginning to really understand this which I am trying to explain. Now, there is this tragic case right now Harvey Weinstein who clearly had an addiction to sexual predation. And of course, there's all kinds of justified outrage at the system that allowed and enabled him to carry on for so many decades. And people are angry with him, which is totally understandable but if he came to me for counseling I would not begin with any kind of a judgment. That would be bad. He already knows that. I would rather ask him what did it do for you? What did you get from it that was missing from your life and what was missing from your life? How did you lose it? What happened to you? In other words whatever else you do, first of all you have to accept these people as they are and not judge them and understand that they were slaves to something inside them that seemed to give them some satisfaction or gratification. And why indulging in it they make themselves slaves.

Another thing to note is that something happened to create that compulsion and that something that happened that created the compulsion was rooted in pain. In other words you have to treat them with compassion and you have to actually get to the core trauma rather than just dealing with the behavior and the problem with all the many programs. It is sad that in most places where people go to get treatment or counseling rarely do they deal with the trauma. And even in the AA 12 step program it rarely deals with the trauma. The same in most churches and denominations. It is like the medical profession and religions are traumaphobic. The evidence flies in our faces. All of society and families/individuals are acting from Trauma. The manifestations of trauma which show up in the culture, from politics to every other field is pretty obvious. People don’t like to be told they are acting from or in the stronghold of trauma. These are the strongholds of Satan telling us lies like he told Eve, that we ARE NOT what we are. That we are not complete in ourselves. That we need someone or external things to give us a sense of self-worth, power, sex, titles, children, spouse, wealth, job, etc. 

Certain traumas are passed from one generation to another based on the behavior of parents and grandparents. The result is the addictions we see. And remember Addictions are things we do that give us a sense of security, pleasure or elation and which in the long run have a very bad consequence. How we get affected by our parents’ behavior can be explained by the science of epigenetics. There is an actual biological change when something is repeatedly done, and it becomes a pattern. Epi means on top. Epigenetics then means on top of the genetics. It teaches that genes are turned on and off by the environment and that this happens early in life so that even two people with the same genes if they have different experiences or grew up in different environments, they'll have different outcomes or behaviors. Because in one case the gene was turned off, in the other it was turned on. So, traumas are passed on both biologically and in the pain that it induces in the child. When you look at the circuits in the brain that are affected by anxiety or ADHD or addiction or any other mental health problem these circuits develop an interaction with the environment. The human brain is the least mature of any mammal. The horse can run on the first day of life. We humans can't do that for a year and a half, and that's because we were born with large heads comparatively speaking already at birth. The head is the largest part of the body, and the human female has a relatively narrow pelvis compared to a horse because we have to walk on two legs. So narrow pelvis with large head we have to get out of the womb prematurely, so to say, and that means that most of our brain development 80 to 90% of it occurs after birth and not before and very much affected by the emotional environment so that these are not just behavioral problems, they become physiological problems. In summary it is true that our gene function is also affected by trauma multigenerationally such that our traumatized grandparents’ genes can still affect the genetic functioning of us the grandchildren.

Having said all that the Goodnews is that the brain can develop new circuits even later on in life. This is called neuroplasticity. Thank God for this possibility because it means that when we begin to wire and fire new circuits in our brain by our thought pattern we will rewire and create new neural pathways. This is where healing begins to take place after recognizing the source of our emotional and psychological hang up or addictions, feelings of inadequacy, ‘I am not good enough’, self-doubt, lack of confidence, cowardice masked as piety and an apathetic or aloof spirit. These are the emotional strongholds that religions like Buddhism and Christianity tend to deal with. I subscribe to the Christian way of liberation from such strongholds because I am of the Christian Tradition. But I believe every religion has such teachings. 


Christianity helps us recover what Satan had taken from us. That we aren’t or aren’t sufficient in ourselves. That there is something lacking in us, the source of our self-doubt and all the consequent ill-attitudes and behaviors. When we talk about recovery what does it mean to recover something? What do you do when recover something? It means you get it back. Christianity proposes a change in mindset, a change in the pattern of our thinking that the devil uses to keep us chained and unfree to live and manifest the power and authority that God gave Adam at the beginning in Genesis 1:26-28 to Multiply, Expand and Take Authority over everything he created: “Be fruitful and multiply and be masters of the birds of the air, the fishes of the sea and all creeping creatures. By my trauma experiences in childhood and early adolescence I lost myself but, as I recover my identity in God and begin to change my pattern of thinking I get reconnected with my authentic self. In our recovery we begin to experience a reconnection with our original self as God made us. This is the work of inner healing as we are set free and liberated. 


Christian Teaching for Inner Healing: The Healing Power of ENCOUNTER

Encounter in the Christian spiritual sense means to experience intimacy with God for real and grow in Awareness of his presence and see his signs and wonders manifest as it did in the early Church through us in our environment and around us. I believe that the Christian message has ALL that humans NEED. It answers Man and Woman’s deepest questions and caters to ensuring they attain their deepest yearnings and highest aspirations.

The Christian gospel proposes that God came to heal and save us from the depths of despair, depression, and abuse. Hence it is called the Good news. You cannot but begin to heal as you grow into what Scripture says about you and the promises of God in the Bible for you. These are the truths Satan is hiding from you and doesn’t want you to know, hence he keeps you in ignorance of God’s Word that will reveal to you your true or authentic identity. In the Catholic faith you will understand that all you will ever need is in God’s Word and in the Church’s Eucharistic Liturgy. In Holy Communion and in the tabernacle is Jesus, his Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity. Heaven and earth meet at Mass. All of time and eternity are given meaning in what is being enacted on the altar. And as you connect deeply with Christ in the Sacraments of reconciliation and Holy Communion your healing takes place. All mental and emotional issues begin to resolve thus in the context of a believing and witnessing community. 

Yes, healing takes place as you begin to grow in your understanding of passages like Jeremiah 1:5: “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, I consecrated you. "You created my inmost self, knit me together in my mother's womb, my being held no secrets from you, when I was being formed in secret, textured in the depths of the earth. Your eyes could see my embryo. In your book, all my days were inscribed, every one that was fixed is there" (Psalms 139:13,15-16). This means that your life is not an accident and that you were known by God before he placed you in your mother’s womb. We see this in Ephesians 1:4: “He chose us before the foundation of the world. How special and primary you are! Your identity as God’s chosen is the best knowledge that you can ever have as it builds self-worth and confidence. Proverbs 19:21: “A man has many plans in his heart but only the purpose of God will remain.” This makes clear that there is a purpose to our lives. We are here for a higher purpose, and it is our task to unravel it as our lives unfold as we have been equipped with whatever we need to accomplish that purpose. Ephesians 2:10 buttresses this point when it says: “You were created and designated for a good purpose for which God made you” and your destiny is to reign with Christ over the earth: Ephesians 2: 5-6 says “We have been raised with Christ and are seated with him above principalities and powers to rule the earth. Revelations 5:10 states clearly that God has made us a line of priests to reign with our God on earth. As stated in Genesis 1:26-28 you are to have dominion over the earth by being a solution to one of life’s problems and not being merely an insignificant cog in the wheel of humanity which leaves you seeking creature comforts and trying to drown your sense of meaninglessness in destructive addictions. What uplifting truth that you are part of a great plan, and you are a citizens of the Ultimate Kingdom that will outlast all empires and kingdoms humans make.

How does a passage like this make you feel? “We are coheirs with Christ…” (Ephesians 1:13). As stated in Revelations 5:10 cited above Dominion is your destiny and you are the one to bring about the kingdom of God as Christ taught in the Our Father, “Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven…” (Matthew 6:9-13). What does baptism confer on us? That the Spirit of God is in you to enable you enter and possess your glory as God’s sons or daughter sent to earth but already reigning from before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4). It is your duty to never lose this. I believe this will change that depressive outlook to life, all that negativity and self-doubt and enable you to be even more committed to getting out of your situation that suffocates or destroys your happiness, which is the frightening opposite, for the absence of God’s Spirit means the Evil Spirit takes over for Spirits need a body to operate on earth. Yes, this is what baptism is about, that just as Christ was made Priest, Prophet and King so are you for the task of continuing the conquest of evil and illumining the world with the light of the glory of God. 

This is clear in Scriptures: “The heavens are the Lord’s, but the earth he has given to the sons of men (Psalm 115:16). “Ask of me and I will give you the nations as your inheritance” (Psalm 2:8). “How great is your name O Lord our God through all the earth. When I see the heavens, the work of your hands, the moon, and the stars which you arranged, what is man that keep him in mind, mortal man that you care for him. Yet you have made him little less than a God. With glory and honor you crowned him. Gave him power over the works of your hand. Put all things under his feet” (Psalm 8). “In all truth I tell you, whoever believes in me will perform the same works as I do myself, and will perform even greater works, because I am going to the Father” (John 14:12). “Do not live in fear little flock. It has pleased your Father to give you the kingdom” (Luke 12:32). These passages show the Power that God has given to us humans. Yes, it pleases Jesus to work through us in the world. Once we understand these truth, like Televisions in homes or restaurants broadcasting things we don’t see in the waves around us but relayed from elsewhere so we too will begin to relay divine healing and progress wherever we are. The Spirit of God in you by virtue of your baptism will take over and you will be unstoppable for thus destiny beckons. You would have become whole (complete, perfect) as Your heavenly Father is whole (Matthew 5:48).

American and European societies seem to encourage children to a false sense of autonomy when in truth they are nothing without that connection to their source if they’re going to live and find true happiness. By the same vein, many societies in Africa, especially in the West, South, East and Central Africa tend to discourage and shut children from thinking they are anything and of no value. This makes them become trapped in emotional strongholds of self-doubt, low self-worth/esteem, self-hate, self-sabotaging beliefs, which manifest in the continent in negativity, cynicism, anger, viciousness, wickedness, malice, outright hatred and evil meted out to one another and no regard for human life or the dignity of the human person. The evil the continent has suffered is enormous, from tribal times to the slave trade era, from colonialism and neocolonialism to contemporary economic misery and beggary. These are all contrary to the light of the gospel. 

In a place where people know and understand who they are they will and cannot but reincarnate the garden of Eden. Not the many blood fields, human abattoirs, decimation, and evil humans have suffered since the dawn of time. My heart bleeds at the sight and memory of all these as I have experienced or read in books. Women and children, boys and girls, men and women, many have suffered immeasurably and been totally deprived by Satan of their birthright, and many till today are still trapped in that stronghold of selfishness, self-absorption, greed, lust, pride, a covetous spirit, envy, anger and distaste or apathy for God. How many are suffering and are victims of such mindsets and cultures steeped in darkness and enslaving them more in false or erroneous beliefs and worldviews. No, we can’t continue like this! Like Peter told the early Christians, “You are a Chosen Race, a Royal Priesthood, a Holy Nation, a People for God’s own possession, so that you may proclaim the excellencies of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9).

In conclusion, inner healing begins to take place as you know and discover your true Identity and the Power and Authority you bear, and that this Authority comes with responsibility. You will begin to understand that the Name of Jesus carries Power and that the Holy Communion you receive is Jesus confirming his presence in your life and reminding you that you are his hands and feet to bring hope to the world: “All Authority in heaven and earth has been given me. Go, therefore, make disciples of all nations; baptize them in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teach them to observe all the commands I gave you. And behold, I am with you always; yes, to the end of time” (Matthew 28:18-20). It is my hopes that as we have listened to these words on inner healing, we may receive Christ’s commission… Rise up young man. Rise up young lady from your entrapment by the devil. Come to Him to heal you and soothe your wounds, your Trauma. Don’t hide them. It is why He sent His Son. As he heals you may you be filled with his Spirit again as he tells you in Matthew 10:7-8: “As you go, make this proclamation that the kingdom of heaven is at hand. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse lepers, drive out demons. You received without charge, give without charge.”

Again, in Mark 16;17-20 the commission is clear: “These are the signs that will be associated with believers: in my name they will cast out devils; they will have the gift of tongues; they will pick up snakes in their hands and be unharmed should they drink deadly poison; they will lay hands on the sick who will recover.” In Luke 10:17-19 this mandate is also seen: The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in your name!” And he said to them, “I saw Satan fall like lightning from heaven. Behold, I have given you power to tread upon serpents and scorpions and upon the full force of the enemy and nothing will harm you.” Do you hear that? In You lies Power, Not Fear. “God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but the Spirit of Power and love and self-control” (2 Timothy 1:7). What is Power? What is Authority? Power is the ability to make something happen. Authority is the ability to exercise that power for a good purpose. Authority is the right to act on behalf of someone else. Authority places us in the position to do something, power enables us to do it. In the name of Jesus resides Power. In the Eucharist lies Power even more as it is the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus, God and Man and as attested in the Eucharistic miracles over the centuries. We can see them as assembled by Blessed Carlos Acutis.

Always remember your inheritance as coheir with Christ. “It is in him that we have received our inheritance, marked out beforehand as we were, under the plan of the One who guides all things as he decides by his own will, chosen to be, for the praise of his glory, the people who would put their hopes in Christ before he came. Now you too in him have heard the message of the truth and the gospel of your salvation and having put your trust in it you have been stamped with the seal of the Holy Spirit of the Promise, who is the pledge of our inheritance, for the freedom of the people whom God has taken for his own, for the praise of his glory (Ephesians 1:11-14). Never give that up for anything or anyone. Christ tells us: "Do not live in fear little flock, it has pleased your Father to give you the Kingdom" (Luke 12:32). Yes, "We have been given possession of an unshakeable inheritance" (Hebrews 12:28). "Then the King will say to those on his right hand, "Come, you whom my Father has blessed, take as your heritage the kingdom prepared for you since the foundation of the world." (Matthew 25:34).

Finally, never forget that “he chose you from before the foundation of the world" (Ephesians 1:4). He says: "You are precious in my eyes. I will give up whole nations to save you" (Isaiah 43:4). Yes, you may be saying like Israel did that God had abandoned or forgotten them. But in Isaiah 49:15-16 God responds thus: “Does a mother forget her baby, or a woman the child in her womb? Yet even if these forget I will never forget you. I have carved you in the palm of my hands.” 

Remember always this promise of God: “I shall restore the years the locust has eaten, the thief has stolen, the sinner has ruined” (Joel 2:25). Go on and live your life, fullness of health and wholeness as Christ said: “The thief comes only to steal, to kill and to destroy. But I have come that they may have life and have it abundantly” (Matthew 10:10). And as you seek him first as priority in your life living in right conduct may you receive the additions that he promised will be added unto you (Matthew 6:33).

“Remember your word to your servant, O Lord, by which you have given me hope. This is my comfort in distress, when my spirit is low, that your promise gives me life” (Ps 119 (118): 49-50).

May this Divine Teaching, O Lord, restore us in mind and body, that we may be coheirs in glory with Christ, to whose suffering we are united whenever we proclaim h

is Death in our own suffering and misfortunes. Amen. 

THE HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS by Sr. Justina Ezike, O.P.


Introduction 

For the past few weeks, we have been listening to our brothers and sisters speak to us on ways to realise inner healing or mental peace. This evening I have been asked to reflect on the healing power of forgiveness. forgiveness is one of the fundamental ways we can experience mental peace.

Forgiveness is healing. By this I mean that forgiveness brings the forgiver not only peace of mind but also holistic healing. In other words, forgiving someone who has wronged or hurt you can have a profound impact on your well-being, leading to physical, psychological, emotional, relational, and spiritual healing. 

In this reflection, I intend to demonstrate the idea that forgiveness is healing under four points of inquiry. First, what is forgiveness? Secondly, why forgiveness? Thirdly, what is the healing potency of forgiveness? And, lastly, how do we forgive?



What is Forgiveness?

Experience has shown that forgiveness does not mean forgetting or condoning or excusing offences or wrongdoing. It also does not always happen quickly. Forgiveness is a process. It can take time. Forgiveness means to remember that nobody is perfect; that each of us stumbles. Psychologically, forgiveness is defined as a conscious, deliberate decision to release feelings of resentment or vengeance toward a person or group who has harmed you, regardless of whether they actually deserve your forgiveness. From a theological viewpoint, forgiveness is an act of grace, mercy, and reconciliation that involves the intentional release of resentment, anger, or the desire for revenge toward someone who has wronged us. 


It is useful to recall here some key elements in the definitions of forgiveness. First, forgiveness is as result of human imperfections; secondly, forgiveness is a conscious act; and lastly, the desire for revenge is an impediment to forgiveness.


Bearing in mind what forgiveness is not and what it is, I shall proceed to the next inquiry, which is simply asking: Why should we forgive? Why should we consciously choose to release our feelings of anger, hatred, or vengeance toward a person(s)?

 

Why forgiveness?

There are a number of reasons for forgiving not just the offender, but the self (the offended). But for want of time, I shall highlight two of the reasons for forgiveness. One of the reasons we ought to forgive is the human condition. It is a known fact that no human person is perfect. And, as a result of original sin, the human will is weakened. Hence, it is possible for us to hurt, harm, or offend one another intentionally or unintentionally. If we become conscious of our imperfections, then we will always find a reason to forgive anyone who has wronged us. It is for the sake of our human condition that Jesus teaches us to say, “Forgive us our sins, for we ourselves forgive everyone indebted to us (Luke 11:4).” And “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing (Luke 23:34).” Dearly beloved, you gain nothing when you refuse to forgive whatever wrong done to you. But you will surely experience a lot of benefits when you willingly forgive.


Another reason we ought to forgive is for the sake of our salvation and final end. Let us always remember that the end of human life is not death, but eternal life. Now, one of the fundamental conditions for our salvation or entrance into heaven is forgiveness. Matthew 5:7 teaches that the merciful, shall obtain mercy; whereas, all those who do not forgive their brother or sister from their heart, will be tortured at the end of time (cf. Matt 18:33-35). In other words, we can actualize our ultimate end only when we deliberately let go of anger, hatred, bitterness, and retaliation towards anyone who has done us wrong. The way to ultimate happiness in God is by forgiving.


Let us proceed to the next inquiry: what is the healing potency of forgiveness? 


The healing power of forgiveness

I shall use a story to illustrate that forgiveness is healing. I once heard the story of a young lady, named Ella. She was known in her neighbourhood for her kind heart and warm smile. But she took ill and laid dying in the hospital for about two years. Her sickness defiled all treatments. No one knew she was carrying a heavy burden. On one faithful day, a member of her family decided to call a Catholic priest to administer the last sacrament to Ella since she was not getting any better. When the priest arrived, he looked at Ella with pity and after some time, he asked her, “Are you holding someone in your mind”? In other words, the priest inquired if Ella was nursing any grudge, hatred or anger towards anyone. After about thirty minutes, Ella decided to open up, she shared her pains, hurts, and even hatred for James, her fiancĂ©. The priest listened attentively, and with a gently smile, he said, “forgiveness is healing. It brings peace and joy to both the forgiver and the forgiven. You should reach out to James and mend your broken friendship.” At that moment, the priest collected James’s contact from Ella and called him to come to the hospital that Ella was dying. The next moment, James arrived the hospital; and Ella, who could not walk for a long time, on seeing him, jumped from her sick bed and embraced James with her eyes filled with tears. James looked at Ella and said, “I am so sorry, please forgive me. Let’s start anew.” Within twenty-four hours, Ella was discharged from the hospital. she experienced healing, not just physical healing but emotional and psychological healing. 


Let us take a closer look at the message set before us by this story. This story served as a reminder that forgiveness is a powerful balm for the soul, capable of healing even the deepest hurts or wounds. My dear brothers and sisters, does anyone harbour anger, hurt, or hatred against another, and expect healing from the Lord (cf. Sirach 28:3)? You can’t heal yourself, unless you forgive. You cannot experience inner healing or mental peace unless you deliberately choose to forgive or release those feelings of resentment, anger, hatred or revenge or negative emotions toward that person(s) who has aggrieved or injured you.


Forgiveness is healing. When we forgive, we completely release ourselves from all hurts. We are also enabled to manage anger, cut stress, and, most importantly, to stay healthy. But when we fail to forgive, we remain linked to that person who has hurt us, and it wears us down and causes us health concerns. These concerns, if left unchecked, can turn into serious health issues. Evidence is mounting that harbouring negative emotions like blame, anger, and hostility can damage our cardiovascular, nervous, and immune systems.


Dearly beloved, forgiveness is healing. Here is a litany of health benefits available when we forgive: healing of emotional and physical pain; lower heart rate and blood pressure; reduced stress and anxiety; reduced risk of heart disease; decreased depression; enhanced physical and mental energy; better quality of sleep; better daily attitude; longer life; increased happiness and peace of mind; improved relationships and strengthened connections; being friendlier and more tolerant; getting a new life; and so on. In fact, forgiveness brings holistic healing. When we forgive, we experience healing in all areas of our lives: physically, emotionally, psychologically, relationally and spiritually.


The choice is yours. Forgiveness opens up a new world of health, as well as positive and emotional freedom. On the other hand, if we choose to cling to our hurt, we can expect to jeopardize our health in return.


We shall proceed to our last point of inquiry, which is: how do we forgive?


Steps for Practicing Forgiveness

Let us quickly review what has been said so far before we look at the task ahead of us. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting. Forgiveness is an act of grace. It involves the intentional release of resentment, anger, or the desire for revenge toward someone who has wronged us. The reason for forgiveness is for the sake of our human condition and our final end. Importantly, forgiveness is healing. It opens up a new world of health, as well as positive, emotional, and psychological freedom It is in the light of these remarks that I propose the following ways or steps for forgiving the self and others.

Conclusion

In this reflection, we set out with four points of inquiry: what is forgiveness? Why forgiveness? What is the healing potency of forgiveness? And, how do we forgive? It has been our aim to demonstrate the fact that forgiveness is healing. This expression reveals itself in the litany of the health benefits of forgiveness. A continuous practice of the virtue of forgiveness gives us back our emotional freedom, physical and psychological healing, and ultimately, happiness. Forgiveness makes us easier to love, it makes life itself interesting, and it makes the world a better place. I would end with these questions: Is there anything unforgiveable? Is there any person you are yet to forgive?

We thank God for the gift of life. I also appreciate you all for giving me this opportunity to share the fruits of my contemplation with you. 

DECIDE TODAY, EMBRACE THE HEALING POWER OF FORGIVENESS

Sr. Justina Ezike, O.P.

Managing Anger and Grudges | Friar Michael Nkwocha

 MANAGING ANGER AND GRUDGES: ONLINE TALK (CHANNEL OF PEACE), 10TH OCTOBER, 2023.

OUTLINE :

WHAT IS ANGER?

EXPRESSING ANGER

CAUSES OF ANGER 

ANGER COULD BE DANGEROUS

A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE: SUGGESTED STEPS FOR DEALING WITH ANGER


INTRODUCTION

This talk is an attempt to help us become more aware of one of the emotions with which we are generally familiar but which quite often is capable of causing a lot of harm to ourselves or to others. However, this emotion could also be handled in such a way that could lead to a better understanding of ourselves and others alike, and could be channeled into positive results. It is the emotion, called ANGER.

Although, quite often, this emotion is viewed from a negative perspective

WHAT IS ANGER?

Possibly, there may not be any single satisfactory answer to the question: what is anger? But a few suggestions would suffice here,, for the purpose of this talk.

Anger could be seen as an intense emotion that is felt when one is offended. 

Anger is that “emotional state that varies from mild irritation to intense fury and rage”. It is said to be accompanied by both physiological and biological changes (heart rate and blood pressure go up, as do the levels of energy hormones like adrenaline and noradrenaline).

Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats…which allows us to fight and defend ourselves when we are attacked.

Sometimes, anger may not be directed at any human being but to a situation

* loss of job

* traffic jam


2. EXPRESSING ANGER

a.) PASSIVE AGRESSION: This type of anger may manifest as a desire to hide ones anger and internalize it. This could mean ignoring people rather than shouting and raging. It could mean PRETENDING that things are fine.

Often, this type of anger comes from a need to be in control of the situation despite ones rising level of anger.

b.) OPEN AGRESSION

This manifests as an open display of aggression (lashing out at others, physical or verbal abuse, destruction of things….)


c.) ASSERTIVE ANGER

It has been suggested that this appears to be the better option when it comes to dealing with anger. In this case, one takes control of his/her emotions and tries to communicate them to the relevant people in a respectful manner.

d.) SUPRESSION OF ANGER

This could be a way of manifesting anger. In this case, one tries to inhibit the anger and convert it into something more constructive. The person stops thinking about it and tries to focus on something more positive. However, when anger is not given an outward expression, it could lead to passive-aggressive behaviours.

e.) CALMING DOWN INSIDE: could be another way in which anger could be dealt with. In this case, one takes steps at controlling both outward behaviours and internal responses, and trying to get the feeling to subside. Perhaps a breathing exercise could be very helpful here.

IMPORTANT!!!

It may be helpful to note that anger could be compared to a wave. Usually, there would be a peak moment, after which it would begin to decline.

UNEXPRESSED ANGER could cause create problems such as : getting back at people indirectly without telling them why; a hostile personality

Criticizing everything could be a sign of lack of constructive ways of expressing anger.


When anger is not well managed, chances are that someone would likely get hurt.


3. CAUSES OF ANGER

Anger could be caused by both internal and external events:

It could be about a specific person

A specific event: canceled flight, failed exam, loss of a dear one, loss of job…

It could be about personal problems

It could be about memories that are painful…



4.) ANGER COULD BE DANGEROUS

Some authors have suggested that anger, when turned inwards could cause illnesses such as depression, high blood pressure and others. Also, not handling anger well could make one not to have many successful relationships.

5.) A CHRISTIAN PERSPECTIVE

Despite the negative sides of anger, we need to bear in mind that anger could also be a sign of ones longing for justice. When God made man, he was a balanced creature, enabled with a sense of justice, everything being held in equilibrium. But then came sin which made man lose the original justice and original state of equilibrium.

Anger could then be viewed, in a positive sense as man’s quest to see to it that justice is done. In this sense, man does not need to despise himself nor does he need to look down on others who are unable to effectively deal with their emotions of anger. 

This emotion becomes a constant invitation to keep striving towards justice, in a healthy way. To do this, the virtue of PATIENCE is inevitable.

Patience is directly opposed to anger, and acts as an antidote to it. One great way then to curb anger is to strive to grow in patience. 

Quite often, we give in to anger because of one or more of the following, based on how we perceive the situation:

Someone has said something we feel he/she should not have said

Someone has failed to say something we feel he/she should have said

Someone has done something we feel he/she should not have done

Someone has failed to do something we feel he/she should have done

Perhaps many of us may have had times when we gave in to anger and later regretted it because we got to have a better and clearer picture of the situation.

The virtue of patience helps to remind us that we may not have the COMPLETE PICTURE, with reference to any particular situation, and as such, we should not be in a hurry to make conclusions.

BEAR IN MIND:

Anger, especially when it turns to rage truly robs us of our inner peace and serenity. It is also capable of destroying us and those around us.

WRATH is numbered among the capital sins, as it gives rise to other sins.

WORDS FROM THE BIBLE

James 1:20 …your anger does not produce God’s righteousness

Sirach 28:2…forgive your neighbor the wrong he has done, and then your sins will be pardoned when you pray…

SUGGESTED TIPS

VERY IMPORTANT: we could learn to ask the Lord for the gift of patience. The more we grow in patience, the lesser we give in to anger!

We could learn to ask the Lord for the grace to forgive ourselves and others

We could learn to ask the Lord for the gift of self-knowledge. For this, meditation and personal reflection are very important.

We could learn to excuse others for their faults and perceived mistakes

We could learn to delay conclusions until we have a clearer picture

We could learn to avoid hasty assumptions and conclusions

We could learn to develop the capacity to dialogue, through prayer and personal efforts

It may be helpful to seek counselling when we need it.

CONCLUSION

The emotion of anger could be seen as an invitation to earnestly strive, through healthy and helpful means towards having a more just society, for the glory of God.

This would remain a continuous struggle. There are things we can change, and we should. There are other things we cannot change, and we could learn to accept.

May the Lord help us in our struggle to gain a better understanding of our emotion of anger and to handle it well, amen. 

Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; 

the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference, amen.

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